My Blog

I am currently watching this series, Brothers & Sisters which stars Calista Flockhard with a bunch of other people and I kind of like it. It starts off a little slow at first but then it picks up and becomes a pretty engaging show.

It focuses a lot on family life, sibling rivalry, politics, sex, drugs, parenting, etc… However, I must say that some of the characters and plots are getting annoying and old.

Take for example, the youngest family member Justin is such a cry-baby! In the show, he was suffering from drugs and alcohol because he enlisted in the army and came back from the war a broken man. It was cool and kinda real in the beginning but then it just got very, very irritating.

Just when you thought that he has cleaned up his act after giving a touching speech (every single time), another tiny setback will make him go sniffing again. Plus I don’t know what he does in the family because he never works. I have never seen him with a job. My question is, where did he get all that money for drugs and alcohol? I guess he must have plugged them right out of some tree because we all know that you can find these things in trees. You didn’t know? Aw…

And then there is this gay brother, Kevin, who is also a lawyer. I think that he looks pretty hot and I do not have a problem with gay people but the show should just spare the rest of us from having to watch their gay kissing scenes. I cringe every time I see it. I don’t care if gay people get married or do what they do to each other behind closed doors but stop torturing the rest of the world by displaying your public affections! It just makes people uncomfortable.

And also, I have never really been curious as to how gay people actually have sex but after watching Kevin getting it on with numerous guys and looking mighty pleased with himself after wards, I have to wonder… How do gay guys have sex? Do they take turns giving each other blow jobs/ hand jobs? Or do they attack each other from behind? Ouch.

To be honest, none of these activities sound really fun. There is a reason why a man and a woman moan ecstatically in unison during intercourse, because both of them feel good at the same time.

Ewww, I kind of regret posting this piece because now I have all these mental pictures in my head! Stop being so curious Michelle, just stop!

I just watched this movie, ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ and it is the most delightful piece of work. First of all, it is funny, realistic and incredibly touching. It will make you feel as if whatever problems that you are facing now, isn’t that big of a deal after all. Plus, it isn’t those hard to understand artsy movie, it’s amazingly simple, yet it can touch the hardest of hearts.

I don’t want to reveal much about it but to anyone who is reading this, please watch it. You won’t regret doing so.

Went to Expo for a rehearsal today. The coming event is CommunicAsia 2007. Anyway, I don’t know exactly how much is this particular Korean company paying for the models but I know that the pay I am getting from my agent is not nearly enough for the client to be so bloody demanding and unreasonable!

First of all, they don’t provide us with food. We gotta pay for it ourselves and it is a 4-day event! Plus, we cannot venture out of the exhibition hall, eat, drink, rest, smoke without putting on a jacket because the company doesn’t want us to tarnish their image and do you know what they told us? "When you are having your meals, please make sure that you eat properly."

Hello? How messy do they expect us to be? As if we would drop everything on the floor, eat with our bare hands, wipe our mouth with the uniform, prop one leg up onto the chair, bury our faces in the food, etc… We are girls, not animals. Not only that, they just suddenly ordered us to report for work earlier than the agreed reporting time without even discussing it with us beforehand and they did not offer to pay us OT.

There is also this Korean guy who is in charge of the whole booth and he is totally horrid! I’ve met him 4 times now and I have never seen him smile or acknowledge anyone at all. I know he is supposed to be firm but if everything is fine and dandy, just lighten up can? He is like the Grinch who stole Christmas. Or rather, he bombed all the children, Christmas trees, presents, Santa, rein-deers to smithereens!

The worse part is, our uniforms look like they were made in the 60s… It is loose-fitting, has too long a hemline, colored in white and silver with cheap gigantic diamond studs in front! We also have to wear these ghastly shiny silver stockings and put on a pair of white heels that were manufactured from the last century.

One thing’s for sure, I DO NOT want to have my picture taken at this event…

Recently a guy friend saw my profile in Friendster and commented to some friends that he don’t think that I will be ideal wife-material because my image is too wild and sexed-up. I think he was using a roundabout way to imply that I am slutty.

I wonder if it’s because this guy is too old-fashioned or it does really give guys that impression of me? Because it is totally not who I am (wild and slutty that is).

I am a serial dreamer. I dream most of my life when I hit the sack and it gets more often and intense as I grow older. Just the other night I dreamt of being chased by this crazy, fat, disgusting Chinese guy and it was as vivid as a movie. Although I kinda forgot the reason he was chasing after me in the first place. I think either to rape or murder me.

Anyway, the chase lasted for quite a while (it involves me having to hide in numerous corners while the fat guy stupidly runs pass me). I have many different dreams but the ones that I get the most are of people, monsters, ghosts, animals, insects or creatures chasing after me. I absolutely loathe these kind of dreams as they leave me mentally AND physically drained after a night’s sleep! I NEVER get enough rest no matter how early I turn in. The only good thing that comes out of this is that I get better and better at running, hiding, outsmarting and throwing off my assailants. Usually I wake up with a hint of glee from my "victory". Tee hee hee…

I figured that this madness has got to end so I surfed the Internet in search of a way to stop these dreams and guess what? I found out that people who dream excessively are usually under depression! I don’t think I am depressed… Sure, a little lonely, moody and cranky at times but depressed? I don’t know man. Anyway it also says that anti-depressants help reduces dreams and I do have some at home. Guess I’ll take some tonight and see how it goes.

If the pill fails and scary fat guy is still chasing me, think I’ll just go grab a dream-catcher or something…

I just finished watching a Korean movie titled "200 Pounds of Beauty". Although it is an entertaining flick to watch but I think it endorses really negative values about the concept of "beauty" and "happiness".

The movie is about this fat girl who has amazing vocals and sings for another female singer who is beautiful but talentless. In short, she basically remains hidden while singing at the concert of another person. Anyway, she was in love with the dashing producer as he treats her really nice and all but was heart-broken when she found out that he had been making use of her all along for her vocals. He does not have any feelings for her at all.

So she seeks out a plastic surgeon and underwent a major reconstruction from head to toe. Finally, she became a beautiful girl after a few years of dieting and surgery. She then looked up the producer again and got to sign a recording contract after he heard her sing at an audition.

However, he did not know that she was the same fat girl from before as she deliberately kept it from him. She feared that he would despise her for having plastic surgery. Anyway, in the process of getting famous, she sort of deserted her best friend and mentally-challenged father. She became a materialistic bitch but got overwhelmed by guilt in the end and admitted to the whole world (at her concert) of her true identity.

Not surprisingly, her fans were super understanding people and still continued to chant their support for her despite everything so she got to remain as a popular singer but as her real identity. Another "surprise" was that the producer fell in love with her and claimed that it wasn’t because of her looks but because of her innocent nature. Now, everybody say ‘YEAH RIGHT’! It sounded like total crap to me. If that was the case, he could have fallen in love with her when she was fat!

As you’ve guessed, everything ended up ‘happily ever after’ and the last scene was of her fat best friend sitting in the plastic surgeon’s office, trying to get a major reconstruction as well.

I find that really, really sick. I am not saying that going for plastic surgery is a sin and that it is evil. If a person finds that a little improvement here and there is totally necessary, then by all means go ahead but this movie gives people the illusion that plastic surgery is the answer to EVERYTHING. It sends the message that by being beautiful, the world is your’s and if you are NOT beautiful then you better get beautiful or die trying. If in any case you fail, then you might as well commit suicide because the world has no place for less-than-perfect people.

I know how some younger girls would feel that they need to go for a serious makeover after watching this kind of movie but I’ve got news for you, being beautiful doesn’t make you a happier person. I know this from personal experience. I used to be a butt-ugly kid all through primary school. I was fat and suffered from lousy grades but I had lots of friends and life was much more simpler.

I wouldn’t say that I am beautiful now but at least I have improved quite a bit. At least I don’t get laughed at as ‘fat pig’ or ‘godzilla’ anymore but I can’t say that I am blissfully happy now. As we grow older, we start to realize that life isn’t a bed of roses and start to miss our childhood.

Sometimes I wish that I could go back to the days whereby I am not troubled by money, love and social issues. Anyway enough about all this, I am not trying to wallow in self-pity because there are people worse off but what I am trying to say is that sometimes the richest, smartest, most beautiful people are the saddest bunch of us all. I mean, look at the history of rich and famous people who committed suicide. Ironic huh?

Maybe I am feeling melancholic recently after going through a series of disappointing relationships but who knows? Maybe I’ll think that the world is a beautiful place again after I’ve found Mr. Right or landed my dream job.

In the meantime, I’ll just work hard everyday and try to achieve these goals. I only hope that when I do finally achieve them, it will make me a happier person.

To those people who are strangers, please stop asking me if I would like to exchange phone numbers. It is not because I think that I’m too good for anybody or that anyone is not good enough for me or any of that nonsense. Its simply because I have the common sense not to give out my mobile number as if it is some toll-free KFC delivery hot-line. If you have any common sense at all, stop asking strangers for their contact number. Unless if it is for insurance purposes (in the event of an accident), job intro, sales promotion, etc…

Any stranger who asks for my phone number through Friendster again, I’ll just mentally stamp the word ‘retard’ on your primary picture.

P.S. I’m not rude, I’m just real.

To those guys who are obviously attached but still message me in Friendster, asking to be "platonic friends" and to "chill out"… I accept your invitation but you have to ask your girlfriend/fiancee/wife/mistress along to these platonic-friends-bonding-chilling-out session. If you can’t do that, leave me alone. Or at least be honest and admit that you are cheating bastard and go kill yourself…

Just watched Ghost Rider this afternoon on YouTube, the quality kinda sucks but its still watchable. Gotta admit that the movie isn’t as lame as I initially thought it would be. It has numerous funny parts in it. Quite entertaining I would say. For those of you who want to catch it on YouTube too, do it quick or it’ll be taken down very soon.

Oh, by the way, I’ve been receiving lots of ’smiles’ from strangers who don’t even bother to write any introduction or greetings at all. I don’t know how they expect me to respond to that so I usually don’t.

I like straightforward people, if you want to be friends, just say so. If you want to insult me, get to the point. Don’t just send me a ’smile’ or a ‘hi’ and leave it as that, it just portrays that you are someone who don’t know what you want or, if you do, you don’t know how to go about doing it (the right way). Either its one of the above reasons or maybe you just suck at spelling or something (that, I can excuse). Or maybe, you think that you are so bloody attractive that a simple ’smile’ or ‘hi’ would trigger me to reply you with a message of a thousand-words asking: Hi! I am so happy that you sent me your dazzling smile. So *touched*! May I know if you are single? Do you have a girlfriend? Don’t tell me you are married or it would break my heart!!! This is my number: 9$^%$^#^$, call me okay? Sms also can! I’ll be waiting for you… (descending echo).

Come’on, get a grip. Vain guys with lots of ‘act cool’ photos turns me off… Intelligent guys with depth turns me on…

Why don’t I feel happy and complete? Something’s missing…