My Blog

From time to time, strangers would read my blog and send me messages in Friendster but if I ignored it once or twice, they’ll usually stop. However, I came across this interesting creature who kept messaging and messaging me even when I didn’t reply at all and his messages weren’t half bad, as in they were kinda amusing.

However I was in a pretty bad state at that time, always angry and depressed so I took it out on this poor fellow. Oh, how I insulted him and went out of my way to be nasty! Still, he presisted and sent me even more encouraging and inspirational messages… It should have made me touched and happy right? Wrong!!! I was so bloody pissed at him for bugging me that I insulted him even more and still he presisted! Then it got me thinking, which stupid fool would continue to be nice and patient to someone who is a total bitch? He must want to get into my pants real bad (that thought got me kinda big headed) but then I looked at my Friendster pictures… Tolerable but I am certainly no Ms. Universe! There are many more prettier/sexier girls around in Friendster so it brought me back to the same original question, what the hell does this guy wants?

Okay, so I started communicating with him by sending messages through Friendster/Email/Msn then out of the blue, I stopped. Just to irritate and piss him off. Okay I know I sound like a horrible bitch right now and whoever is reading this is aching to slap me but I was depressed! Can’t I be a little mean? Anyway, the saga continued with him messaging me consistantly, asking me why I suddenly chose not to keep in contact and stuff (which I ignored as well).

By this time, I was at my lowest point… Depressed almost 24 hours a day except for the nights when I got pissed drunk. Those were little highs but it was awful when morning comes and brought me down to my dreadful lows (that is why I avoid drinking nowadays).

One day, out of boredom and depression, I asked him out for a drink but cancelled it at the last minute. Partly because I didn’t felt like entertaining a stranger and also partly because I wanted to irritate him again! Ha ha! I know I can be incredibly irritating right? Its one of my many hidden "talents".

Some of you might be thinking: So did you guys met up or not? The answer is yes and it was done in a completely unplanned and spontaneous fashion. The story was that I got myself pissed drunk the night before and decided not to go to work so I called my company and reported sick. I then have to drag my sorry ass out of bed while suffering from a hangover and go to a see a doctor to get my MC. I really didn’t felt like going alone so I called him and asked if he would take me to a doctor. Miraculously, he agreed (even though a fool could tell that I was just making use of him).

So in my intensely depressed state, I got up, bathed and put on whatever that was lying around on my bedroom floor. Didn’t even bothered much with my face and hair. Man, I looked like shit and I was thinking: Its for the best so that after seeing me, this guy will get the hell outta my life.

He picked me up at my condo, drove me to the clinic and asked me if I was alright. I wasn’t very responsive and didn’t even bother to carry out a polite conversation with him. It was painfully obvious that all I wanted from him was a ride but as the day progresses, I started to open up and talked to him. It was small talks at first but then I begin to really talk to him.

Once I got myself started, I couldn’t stop. I began telling him about my problems and pouring my heart out! He became like my shrink from that day onwards. We met up regularly to talk. Not only about depressing matters but also concerning books/movies/goals/jokes/family (boy, if you are reading this, I hope you don’t decide to start charging me for being my shrink okay?) and slowly but surely I started to heal. I became a human being again… Previously I was a bitch aka female dog, remember? Okay, maybe there are still some traces of that bitch left but who wants to be a goody-two-shoes all the time? B-O-R-I-N-G!

Looking back, I count myself very lucky to have met someone like him. Many people had to go through with their problems/depression alone and we all know how that feels right? I will definately pass on what I learnt from him if ever I come across someone in need.

Thank you and God bless E.W.

P.S. I love you too. Hugz.