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Yesterday a friend drove me into JB to shop for some DVDs and suddenly in the mist of browsing through the many movie titles, a strong wave of deja vu hit me. It was like bits and pieces of my life were repeating itself in a sickening way. Like those weird dreams that occur once in a while.

I went through a bad breakup once that left me down and out but there was someone who helped me pick up the pieces. This was exactly what we did before: we hanged out, drove into JB and bought DVDs! Subsequently, we became an item and now that we are through, similar series of events are happening again. Sometimes I wonder if its them? Or me? Or just fate?

Only this time, I experienced the whole thing with an odd sense of detachment. Like I was merely a spectator, watching somebody else going through all this. Anyway, I have decided to snap out of it, life is too short to be detached. I have got to live in the moment and cherish every experience, be it good or bad. I’ll just try to stir clear of repeating anymore similar activities, it is too freaky for me.

又站在你家的门口　我们重复沉默
                  这样子单方面的守候　还能多久
                  终於你开口向我诉说她有多温柔
                  虽然你还握著我的手　但我已不在你心中
                  我真的懂　你不是喜新厌旧
                  是我没有　陪在你身边　当你寂寞时候
                  别再看著我　说著你爱过
                  别太伤痛　我不难过　这不算什么
                  只是为什么眼泪会流　我也不懂
                  就让我走　让我开始享受自由
                  回忆很多　你的影子也会充满我生活
                  我并不懦弱　你比谁都懂
                  虽然寂寞　这会是我　最后的宽容

抱紧我　再抱紧我
                    这一份感动　请你让我留在胸口
                    别在说是你的错　爱到了尽头
                    是非对错　就让它随风
                    忘了所有　过得比你快活
                    我真的懂　你不是喜新厌旧　是我没有
                    陪在你身边　当你寂寞时候
                    别再看著我　说著你爱过
                    别太伤痛　我不难过　这不算什么
                    只是为什么眼泪会流　我也不懂

不要再说　或许这是最好结果
                    现在分手　总好过你不爱我一拖再拖
                    分开你的手　离开你左右　我向前走
                    这会是我　真正的解脱

A friend of mine sent this email to me:

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she’s blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He’s always there

for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would
marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see

everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you
marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is
blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her
saying. "Just take care of my eyes dear."

This is how human brain changes when the status changed.

Only few remember what life was before, and who’s always been there
even in the most painful situations.

After I read it, I kinda felt sad because I can totally relate to it. Not in a BGR kinda way, but it reminds me of how shabbily I sometimes treat those who love me the most, my parents. Think about it, after reading this story, I bet most of you would go: ‘Oh, I’ll never do that to someone so kind to me’ but more often than not, think of all the times we snapped at our parents, think the worse of them and deemed them old and useless? For those of you who are super good and filial kids, I am not talking about you, so don’t protest. Isn’t there a slight resemblance of how we sometimes treat our parents as compared to how this blind girl treated her boyfriend?

I have been through numerous painful breakups and hardships but the reason I am still kicking is because of my beloved parents. Can you imagine going through life’s hardships all alone? No matter how insignificant our parent’s effort may seem at the time, I am sure it contributed a lot to our sanity. Like how mom would knock on the door and say: Honey, dinner’s ready! I prepared all your favourites! or how dad would say: I fixed your desk/lamp/shower/chair/bed (the minute we complained about it). Sometimes I reflect back on the things that they have done for me and I get a little weepy because I am so grateful.

Mom and dad, I love you guys.